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a mental load

Bathroom Tiles

The toilet is a safe space where I channel air soundlessly

An absent wail as hot drips dab my thighs

I can keep my tap running for a little while in here

(They’ll think I’m having a poo)

Fingertips clench forearms as the force of emotion buffets me

Weathering this shitstorm on a toilet seat

I’m so pathetic because there’s no single reason why

I’m just screaming silently into the void

I don’t know how else to cope with this

Despair

Vacancy

Sorrow

Through the film of tears I spot the handwash is looking low

So I will put this on the shopping list when I am done

Because I am a mental load

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